Sunday, December 31, 2017

It Is Possible Not to Look

As we enter Shovevim and try to make tikkunim for pgam ha-yesod*, I will share a story.  

A Rebbi in a very prominent yeshiva, a very mechubadike Rav, with an impressive looking frock and a more impressive comportment, related to me [I was shocked at his frankness] that when he was first married he was having problem with one of of his wife's sisters. She was very attractive and when he went to his in-laws for Shabbos, there she was, dressing and looking very good. He didn't know what to do. On one hand, shmiras einayim. It is not holy to be attracted to your sister in law, to say the least. But he couldn't help it. On the other hand - how do you not go to your in-laws for Shabbos??? And what is he going to do? Tell his father in law that he has shmiras einayim problems with his other daughter? That wouldn't have fit well with all of the praises that were said about him during the shidduchim and wedding period.... And how will he explain this to his new wife? 

Anyway, he went to Rav Tzvi Meir Zilberberg Shlita who told him that he will go - and won't look. 

And so it was. He went and the entire Shabbos he didn't look at his sister in law once.

 It can be done. 

[Note - He is a mentsch. I am sure that he did it in a way that she wasn't offended]. 


*Illicit thoughts, visions, speech and actions.