Sunday, December 17, 2017

Changing The Conversation

Let's say that you were in an emotional crisis. Your marriage was in shambles, the kids were getting kicked out of their schools, you were couldn't hold down a job, your doctor told you that your stress levels were off the charts, you were feeling down, depressed, dejected and despair etc. etc. Not a pretty picture.

So you go to a psychiatrist. He has a good reputation but doesn't do this as a chesed. 450 dollars a session. He has children to put through college and the way a free capitalistic society works is that people who offer a product that others desperately need can "take them to the hoop" and charge as they wish - and get it. [I am a capitalist but I get why people were so attracted to socialism].You don't have it but you borrow some money you don't know how you are going to pay back in order to receive some relief. 

You walk into his office and he starts talking to you. "How about those Jets??" "Do you think Bryce Petty is the right starting quaterback?" [Full disclosure - I googled "Jets quaterback" so I could write that question. But so did the shrink]. After a few minutes about the Jets and he sees that you aren't terribly interested in the conversation, he apologizes for assuming you are a Jets fan and starts talking about the Giants. Then he moves on to the Knicks and Nets [did they really move to Brooklyn?? First the Dodgers leave and now this!]. Then hockey. After a half hour [and $225:-)] of this, your patience runs thin and you cry out "that is not why I came here. We have much more important things to discuss".

We all came to this world with a purpose. We are commanded to purify our souls. Yet, oddly-strangely-bizaarely-crazily-insanely, people use their very limited time to talk about sports, politics, the weather and other topics about which conversation has ZERO positive impact with regard to our souls. Time is SOOOOOO short. 

I would love to see the conversation change. Instead of people talking about things that really don't matter and which just distracts them from the deeper purpose of existence, they instead talked about their psyches and souls. 

"How are you".

"Working on כעס. My wife and children can drive me CRRRAZZZY and I lose it sometimes". 

"Would you mind if I share a thought? I have had the same issue"

"Sure".

"What thoughts go through you mind before you lose it? Can someone REALLY "make" you angry or do we make ourselves angry as a reaction to the behavior of others?"

"That is really interesting. Until now I have just been a robot that automatically reacts to the stumuli of my surroundings but I don't have to. I need to hear more about the thoughts I can think to prevent anger".

"We'll talk!!"

"What about you?"

"Money!! I feel like I love my money more than I love other people and even more than I love Hashem". 

"Welcome to the club. We have to think about how to overcome this terrible yetzer". 

WOW!!! People talking about their PNIMIUYUS and not about often irrelevant matters or matters over which they have zero control. ["Trump is koo-koo. Did you see his latest tweet?" Whether or not you think he is koo-koo or read his latest tweet - he will be President for the next three years. Deal with it and focus on things you have control over. It is easy to talk about the shortcomings of others because then we can ignore our own:-)].