A couple of weeks ago I was feeling “under the weather” and I decided to see “The Doctor”.
When I arrived at the office it struck me that I no longer was going to “The Doctor’s Office” (singular possessive) I was going to “A Doctors’ Office” (plural possessive).
There was no longer ‘my’ doctor who knew me and had a small office with Highlights Magazine for the kids and old issues of Life on the table near an old lamp whose bulb had not been changed since President Kennedy’s inauguration.
Now I entered the “Intercontinental-Country-Wide-Summit-Hill-Passaic-Clifton-Nutley-Garfield- Wallington- Secaucus Medical Group” or ICWSHPCNGWSMG for short.
This new term ‘Medical Group’ meant that I was no longer going to my local doctor; I was now entering the Home Depot of Medicine; or the Costco of Clinics.
After being asked which doctor out of 409 I was scheduled to see, I was handed a ‘buzzer’ to hold on to.
I was unsure if when it ‘buzzed’ that meant my pastrami on rye was ready or that there was a chemical attack on Passaic and I should evacuate to the nearest Haz-Mat shelter.
After waiting about 15 minutes and being forced to watch a full screen television showing channel 91 which was giving me the local news in Hasbrouck Heights (Mr. O’Conner had successful cataracts surgery on his right eye); my buzzer started to buzz and flash red lights.
I rushed to the counter and after being disappointed because there was no pastrami on rye waiting for me, I was ushered in to……you guessed it… another room to wait and wait.
The nurse said to me, “Sit down, the doctor will be in to see you right away.”
I replied, “I was in the middle of reading of a stimulating article about laxatives and their effect on cloned cows; however, now I have nothing to do in here but stare at a diagram of my thoracic diaphragm which does not look too appetizing. Can I go back and get my copy of Doctor’s Dialogue from the waiting room?”
She robotically repeated, “The doctor will be in shortly.”
“Shortly” is quite a relative term. It can mean in the next three months as in: “Purim is coming shortly”; or it can mean 60 seconds as in: “The light will change from red to green shortly”.
As I had no idea what she meant and I no longer had my article about laxatives and cows and I could no longer watch the ‘big screen’ to inform me of Sam O’Conner’s cataracts surgery and I felt that I would throw up if I looked again at the multi-colored diagram of my thoracic diaphragm, I did what any other sane person would do, I took out my phone and began checking my email.
Oy, was that a mistake.
After about six emails and four automatic deletes, his holiness and his highness the all-powerful and all-knowing individual to whom we all page homage (and lots of money) entered the room in a rush to leave.
Without telling me his name and without even saying hello, he rebuked me by saying, “How about getting off your phone… I don’t have all day”.
I began to tell him my symptoms while he read my ‘chart’ on his Ipad and after about 19 seconds he interrupted my soliloquy to scribble a prescription and before I could say “Doctor Spock” he was out of the room and onto to more patients and more money.
As I exited and went to back to the front desk to ‘sign out’ the receptionist asked me, “Which doctor did you see?” I looked at her and realized that I had no idea of his name. I mumbled, “I don’t know, he never introduced himself; if it helps, he was wearing a white coat”
At first I thought that I was singled out for this special treatment; however, I soon realized that my case was quite the ‘norm’ as opposed to the exception.
See this from last week’s New York Times:
HARRISBURG, Pa. — BETSY came to Dr. Martin for a second — or rather, a sixth — opinion. Over a year, she had seen five other physicians for a “rapid heartbeat” and “feeling stressed.” After extensive testing, she had finally been referred for psychological counseling for an anxiety disorder.
The careful history Dr. Martin took revealed that Betsy was taking an over-the-counter weight loss product that contained ephedrine. (I have changed their names for privacy’s sake.) When she stopped taking the remedy, her symptoms also stopped. Asked why she hadn’t mentioned this information before, she said she’d “never been asked.” Until then, her providers would sooner order tests than take the time to talk with her about the problem.
Recent research has revealed that:
“A doctor’s ability to explain, listen and empathize has a profound impact on a patient’s care. Yet, as one survey found, two out of every three patients are discharged from the hospital without even knowing their diagnosis. Another study discovered that in over 60 percent of cases, patients misunderstood directions after a visit to their doctor’s office. And on average, physicians wait just 18 seconds before interrupting patients’ narratives of their symptoms. Observation soon revealed that physicians introduced themselves on only about one in four occasions. And without an introduction, it’s no surprise that patients could correctly identify their physician only about a quarter of the time.”
(Ibid)
This is not good and this must be addressed; however, this Vort is not really about doctors although they can read it as well; it is really about us.
When someone needs you, give them the time to speak without interruption.
I personally cannot stand it when I am attempting to speak to someone, (not only doctors; anyone!) and before I can complete my thought they interrupt and say, “Oh, I know all about that…”, and then they proceed to talk about ‘themselves!’
We all need to improve our bedside manners.
Physicians and lawyers and especially husbands and wives need to learn to listen and to hear the message their loved one is attempting to communicate.
Too often when our children, friends, spouses and coworkers come to us for help and support, we are in a hurry to move on to something else and never give them the chance to unburden themselves.
“Harvard health policy researchers reported that higher patient satisfaction was associated with improved outcomes for several diseases, including heart attacks, heart failure and pneumonia.”
This fact is true in human relations as well… Higher “friend satisfaction” will be associated with improved outcomes for several problems, including ‘broken hearts, hurt feelings and spiritual depression.”
Listen to your friend, your spouse and your child; hear them out and give them what he or she needs the most; namely your time and your undivided attention.
It can and will make all the difference in the world.
