Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Don't Be Overly Trusting

Chazal were very wise.

There is a halacha that is ignored by the masses that would solve a lot of problems. The gemara says [Bava Metzia 75b] that it is forbidden to loan money without witnesses. If one does so he brings a curse upon himself and trangresses the prohibition of "don't put a stumbling block before the blind" [for the borrower might falsely deny that the loan ever took place and thereby sin]. This law is codified in the Shulchan Aruch.

Chazal understood that when it comes to money matters - trust nobody. The poskim work very hard to try to find a justification for the common practice to loan money without witnesses [with little success - an 'open' gemara and shulchan aruch...] but everybody agrees that ideally the law should be followed as written [see for example the Tzitz Eliezer 7/47 and the Yabia Omer somewhere in Choshen Mishpat in the seventh volume if my memory serves me correctly. If it doesn't - sue me and I'll see you in court. Then we can go out for something to eat and shmooze:-). Whoever is reading this - I haven't seen you for a while].

My own experience in life has been that it has yet to happen that I loaned someone money and he came back to me and paid up on time. Either he never returned the money, or waited until I very uncomfortably brought up the subject after the loan was already due and then returned it. Recently, I asked someone to return money that was due about TWO YEARS AGO. I felt very uncomfortable but I really need it so I overcame my inhibition and said something. I know that he is struggling but his word is his word.

He said "I haven't forgotten you". I wasn't interested in whether he is thinking about me. We are not a couple in shidduchim concerned if the other person is thinking of them. It is the cash that is needed. אם אין קמח ... Then, to show me how appreciated I am, instead of returning the loan .... he gave me a sefer he wrote:-). Even though I love sfarim it is hard to learn a sefer from a person who is less than honest in his financial dealings. The truth is that I already smelled him out from the beginning and I knew long ago that the money won't be coming back so soon. I have seen other unseemly aspects of his character and his external frumkeit didn't impress me. Baruch Hashem, I have developed a skill over the years to see through people so at least I am not surprised.  

What about the halacha I mentioned from the gemara? Why I don't I keep it? The truth is that I do:-). I don't lend money without either writing a shtar or in the presence of witnesses. I have a signed shtar for the loan but I am not the type to sue someone in court. Also, it is not such a large sum that it would be worth my while anyway.

So I will wait for yeshuas Hashem from a different channel. He is nebuch in difficult circumstances anyway. May Hashem help him.

For us, the lesson is - beware. Beard, no beard, tichel or sheitel, it doesn't matter. When it comes to money, EVERYBODY is suspect and few are the completely 100 percent honest. The gemara already said 1500 years ago רובן בגזל [Bava Basra 165]. MOST PEOPLE [FRUM PEOPLE!!] are guilty of stealing on some level. My life experience has confirmed this time and again. People's words aren't words and there is always that element of discomfort that people have parting with their most beloved ....

And I proclaim the words of Dovid Hamelech - מי יעלה בהר השם ומי יקום במקום קדשו? - Who will climb the mountain of Hashem and rise in his holy place?

נקי כפים - A man with clean honest hands.

May we all be the exception rather than the rule:-).

Bi-ahava,

Me :-)