The Yeshiva Bochur And The Goyishe Zonah

A story that is unbelievable but true.

There was a boy who learned in a top Charedi yeshiva. He learned on a high level and was especially punctilious in his observance of the mitzva of tzitzis. He knew all of the halachos backwards and forwards. He was careful to buy expensive tchelis which he carefully tied to his beged, not trusting anyone else to have the proper kavana. He never looked at the Internet in his life, no iphones, smartphones, apps of all sorts, newspapers. B'kitzur - no shmutz.  

Somehow, some way, he heard about a zonah who was the absolute best at what she did. How he heard about this I don't know, but he did. I am just telling it like it is. He might have been careful at wearing his tzitzis but the lesson of tzitizis "ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם אשר אתם זונים אחריהם וכו' והייתם קדושים לאלהיכם" not to follow after ones eyes and passions and to be holy to Hashem were somehow lost on this bochur.

I can't believe it either but he decided that he must become a client of hers. I make this not up. But it gets better/worse. She lived overseas. He couldn't just meet her and be done with it. It took planning a trip [during the zman!] and spending a considerable amount of money on the transportation - besides her significant fee [I know how much. An absolute fortune]. How did this tzitzis-wearing-learning-shtarkly-bochur get the money to pay for this? In Yiddish they say "Oif a my-seh freg men nisht ken kashyas" - Don't ask questions on story. It happened. אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון. He wanted the money badly enough and he made it his business to get it. The reports of the "maidel" overseas were too "good" to be true. He had to experience.

He wired her the money [she took her fee well in advance...] and made an appointment. Everything was set up. He arrives and the secretary [she had a secretary!] tells the "Madame"  - "That man who sent you the money in the mail is here". She didn't mention his name because his name didn't matter. What mattered is that he was a customer, he paid his money and now the service was going to be provided.

The zonah said "Usher him in" [maybe his name was "Usher"]. He entered and and saw an elaborate set up of fancy beds, one above the other. Six silver beds and one gold bed with thick mattresses and silky sheets, weaved with superb craftsmanship. She was wealthy and anyway it was a business expense, so she could afford it.

She sat on the top, gold bed and waited for him wearing what one wears for such occasion [please be mocheil me for telling the story as is. There is a mussar haskel here....]. He started removing his clothing as well. When he got to his tzitzis it "hit" him like a ton of bricks. "What on earth am I doing??? The tzitzis are supposed to remind me of all of the mitzvos of the Torah. The tzitzis are like the spiritual body the enclothes my physical body. They "tie" me to the Ribbono Shel Olam." He started remembering all of the deep Chasidishe Torah's about the deeper meaning of tzitzis and he just lost all interest in this act of debauchery. He stepped back and sat on the ground. He felt like a piece of dirt on the ground. 

Until now, no words were exchanged between the young man and the zonah because neither was interested in the other as a person. Each was just an object. For him, she was an object of lust and nothing more. For her, he was a well paying customer. Neither of them had a name, a family, a history or feelings. It was body in exchange for money.

But suddenly she saw that he was no longer interested and felt hurt so she came down from her lofty perch and sat down beside him and exclaimed "In the name of Yoshke, I swear that I will not leave you until you tell me what flaw you saw in me. Am I not beautiful??" [Even zonahs have feelings....]       

He answered "I swear by my holy religion that I have never seen a woman as beautiful as you. But these tzitzis I am wearing reminded me that there is reward and punishment and I just can't do it. One day, they will come before G-d and testify against me. I am a Jew and this act I was about to commit is extremely sinful. I can't do it."

She was extremely impressed with his sense of conviction and his willingness to forgo the pleasures in which he had invested so much time and money in order to attain. He didn't even ask for a partial refund. So she asked him for his name and address, the name of his yeshiva and Rosh Yeshiva. Now he became a real person. This is actually where the relationship begins. Beforehand there was zero relationship, just self-absorption. He wrote out the information for her, handed it to her and left. [I don't know why he wasn't afraid that this would get back to his yeshiva and he would be unceremoniously, ignominiously expelled. And what would it do for his shidduch chances??].  

He went back home and she got to work. She liquidated all of her possessions, gave a significant amount to tzdaka and traveled overseas to the young man's yeshiva. All she took with her were the bed sheets she had spread out for their unconsummated union.  

I am not making this up.

She gets to his yeshiva and asks his Rosh Yeshiva if he will be willing to convert her. The Rosh Yeshiva suspected that she was just doing so for marriage purposes but she convinced him that while it is true that she is interested in one of the students, she is converting regardless of whether he marries her. She showed him the piece of paper that the boy had written out for her with his information.

The Rosh Yeshiva was convinced of her sincerity, convened a Beis Din and converted her. She was then set up with a "top bochur" in the yeshiva, yes indeed, our friend who traveled so far to meet her in a different context, and they were married כדת משה וישראל with a simcha-dike chasuna that was remembered for a long time afterwards by countless people.

The very same sheets she had almost used for the forbidden act, were now used in kedusha as a kosher bas yisrael who strived to build a family of tzadikim, ovdei Hashem. 

One of the Chashuve Rabbonim who heard about the story was inspired and heard to say "If this is the reward for tzitzis in this world - he gets the woman he so desired as his wife - then I can't imagine what his reward will be in the next world.

End of story.

Full disclosure - it was based on a gemara in Menachos 44a with commentary, some of my own, some from others. Otherwise I wouldn't have told it. This is a family blog:).

What can we learn from this story? Nora noraos!!

I will withhold my urge to share with you some of the lessons, in order that you digest the story, and share with me the lessons you learned. This will be an exercise in analysis of the Talmudic text in order to extract the deeper layers of meaning that make it relevant to one and to all.

One caveat - Your responses may be copied and publicized on the blog להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה, so if you would like it to remain between us or be cited anonymously - make sure to note that in your email.

לזכות חזרה בתשובה של כל בית ישראל ובמיוחד מהעוון הידוע