Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Starting Again

R' Moshe Shilat Shabbat Bishabbato Ki Teitzei
 
The gates of teshuva – repentance – are wide open now, especially since it is the month of Elul.
Teshuva is usually explained as involving the past, which may not have been very good. But this is not so! Teshuva refers to making a new start, it is involved with the future and not with "digging" back into the past. We have been commanded to open up a new page which is clean. Regret for the past is not included in the mitzva of teshuva itself, rather it is an addition to the main concept. [Note: Many would argue with this assertion].
 
"The Torah mitzva of teshuva refers only to abandoning sin. That is, it is necessary to make a binding decision with a full heart never to repeat the foolishness again... And this is the main meaning of the word teshuva – for a person to return to G-d with all his heart and all his soul, to serve Him and to observe all of His mitzvot." [Tanya, Igeret Hateshuva Chapter 1].
 
The past that does concern us is not the time of the sin but rather the pure state before the sin, the past which is clean. Teshuva is a return to the status of the pure soul which G-d gave us, so that "the spirit will go back to G-d, who gave it." That is the focus, that is the main thing, and not a wallowing in the past failures.
 
Perfect Teshuva
 
This "lenient" approach of the Tanya, saying that teshuva involves "only" abandoning the sin and not thinking about the past and the sin itself, at the same time involves a great stringency. The lack of relevance of specific past events is related to the fact that the specific sin that we did does not matter. The very fact that every sin causes us to move further away from G-d, the fact that we turn our backs on Him by our own actions – is the main problem. With this insight, teshuva becomes very stringent and serious because even the lightest of sins is a very serious matter. The "new page" that we open after repenting must be completely clean and pure, since there is no room for any stain, no matter what size, shape or color.
 
In accepting the yoke of heaven to perform the act of teshuva we must accept everything anew, to decide to perform all the commandments, both positive and negative mitzvot. This means not only to resolve to keep mitzvot which we missed in the past and to observe prohibitions which we violated, for that does not address the main problem! Our real problem is the revolt against the Almighty which we expressed by committing a sin. Thus, the attempt to atone for a sin means that we must renew our acceptance of the yoke of G-d in all the details, without any connection to a specific sin. As the Tanya writes: "The mitzva of teshuva... requires a person to make a decision with all his heart never to return to foolishness and to revolt against the Divine kingdom, and never to violate any of the mitzvot of the King, G-d forbid – both positive and negative mitzvot" [ibid].
 
The Mikveh Purifies those Who Have been Defiled
 
In addition to the above, it is written in Chassidic literature that one who does not succeed in accepting the yoke of heaven completely should accept whatever he can, while praying to G-d for success – "Bring us back with complete teshuva before you." With G-d's compassion, even though our teshuva might not be perfect, the Holy One, Blessed be He, will bring us closer to Him. This closer approach itself can help us succeed in accepting the full yoke of heaven, leading to true teshuva.
 
And that is how the Rebbe of Lubavitch explains the words of Rabbi Akiva at the end of the tractate of Yoma: "Yisrael should be happy... Just as a mikveh purifies the defiled ones, so the Holy One, Blessed be He, purifies Yisrael." We can ask that this comparison of a mikveh to the Holy One, Blessed be He, seems faulty. Is the mikveh the allegory, which teaches us a lesson about the purification done by G-d? The mikveh itself would not be worth anything without the influence of G-d that operates through it!
 
The answer to this question is that Rabbi Akiva is teaching us a remarkable fact. Just as we have seen that a mikveh can provide partial purification (see Mishna Berachot 3:6 – a person can immerse himself in a mikveh to remove a light impurity even though a more serious one remains), in the same way the Holy One, Blessed be He, allows a person to remove light sins even though he has not yet succeeded in removing the more serious ones. And that is what Rabbi Akiva said – "a mikveh purifies the defiled ones," while they remain impure in certain aspects. This understanding can help a person get closer to G-d, so that in the end he will be absolutely pure and perfect.
 
"Yisrael should be happy."