Thursday, July 4, 2013

Why Is Moshiach Not Here?

Why is Moshiach not here?

I don't know.....

But I am not surprised. We Jews know about the importance of peace, love and harmony and yet our hearts are so far from each other.

Examples abound:

1] A well known yeshiva is split up into 2 factions, one called שונאים and the other called  מחבלים. There are 2 separate roshei yeshiva and the two yeshivas learn two different masechtos, all under the same roof. Lovely.

2] Tonight I was researching a certain yeshiva to see if I would want to teach there. I discovered so much divisiveness that I would rather starve. Other yeshivas split up into two completely separate yeshivos - all because of machlokes. One well known yeshiva had two roshei yeshiva who were not on speaking terms and wouldn't even appear at the same simchas. At my wedding I knew that if rabbi "a" came then rabbi "b" would hate me. But I had to invite rabbi "a". So I went to rabbi "c" [a true tzadik] who advised me to invite rabbi "b" and he wouldn't show up because he knew how rabbi "a" felt about him coming. He didn't. So much politics. So much machlokes. There is a famous chassidus that split into two when two brothers couldn't agree on who will lead, causing tremendous friction. Nobody has a monopoly on machlokes. It is in the chasidish world, the litvish world, the modern world - everywhere.

3] Yeshivas "compete". It's not about what is best for the potential students but rather about filling my own beis medrash. It is less about spreading torah and more about spreading "my" torah. When I attempted to start my yeshiva I found no other yeshivas who were interested in me getting started. They don't need more competition. They won and my message and educational methods will not find expression. Instead, I look for babysitting jobs around the neighborhood. The pay isn't great but if the kids are sleeping I can learn. [I totally made up the last two sentences. I don't babysit. Please don't call me if you need a babysitter. I love kids but any teenage girl would do a better job than me].

4] Shuls are riddled with politics. For the rabbi, against the rabbi, do like the president, don't like the president. Most pulpit rabbis suffer from heavy burnout. I never tried it before and that may be why I have so few gray hairs [the number is rapidly growing Baruch Hashem].

5] Families don't talk. This uncle won't talk to that uncle. These cousins and those cousins don't invite each other to family simchas. Parents and children don't talk ever or only do so rarely. Siblings can't stand each other. Even the nicest people will sometimes grimace at the mere mention of their brother or sister.

Sweetest friends!! What is my point?? I have been around the block a few times. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I can tell you of rabbis who are tzadikim, people who are beyond reproach. I can also tell you of laymen who are really special, holy ovdei Hashem. I also can tell [but I won't!:)] of people I know who are fakers, people who are egomaniacs, megalomaniacs, self-absorbed and arrogant. People who are אחד בפה ואחד בלב, people who are putting on a show for themselves and others - and Hashem.

I am not going to change the world. I am, on a very good day, nothing. Mamesh nothing. On a less good day I am ... less than nothing. But I can change myself. And you, beloved friend, can change you. This is a good time to think about it.

Am I for real? Do I really believe in Hashem? Do I really question myself and my motives? Am I religious because I was raised that way or because it's comfortable? Do I really care about my friends or do I just use them because it's not pleasant not to have friends. Do I care about people who are not my friends? Sometimes I find that when I need a favor it is not my friends who will do it but someone I don't know. Just this week someone I never met tried to help me in a big way when friends I asked weren't interested.

Here's a good question - Do I believe that my money is Hashem's that was given to me as deposit in order to serve Him? Do I love Hashem more than my money?  The best way to measure a persons heart is by seeing how he relates to money. Here's a good myseh that I heard from the Rebbe Shlita about his grandfather the Tolna Rebbe ztz"l that he either witnessed himself or heard from a person who was there [I don't remember which].

The Rebbe ztz"l was a rabbi in Montreal before he made aliyah. He came to Israel and lived on very-very little money. One day at the Kotel a Jew who used to daven in his shul saw him and happily wrote out on the spot a check for 25 thousand dollars and gav eit to the Rebbe. A respectable sum. Do you know what this poor Rebbe did with the check? He looked around and spotted the gabbai tzedaka for the Gerrer Chasidim and gave him the whole thing....

Many people don't even give maaser. They just hoard the millions for themselves while others suffer.

In Klal Yisrael there is a tremendous amount of tzdaka and chesed. But we have a long way to go.

If you change yourself, if you open your heart to others I can't promise that the world will be redeemed. But one promise I CAN make.

You will be redeemed.

Love and blessings:).