Wednesday, January 23, 2013

An Open Letter - The Demise Of Nefesh Yochanan

This was sent to all of those people on my email list:

Shalommmm sweet friends!!
For a long, long time I had a dream of opening up a yeshiva built on the principles of Rav Chaim Halevi Soloveitchik, The Baal Shem Tov, Rav Yisrael Salanter, Rav Kook and others, thereby creating a complete Torah personality. Boys who have refined character, are deeply spiritual, learn gemara in the sweetest, deepest way and always with simcha. I thought that it was a great concept that would attract the attention of students, their teachers and big donors alike. I figured that I know so many people of means and they would get excited about the project and the money would flow in. So this summer I tried to finally make it happen with the goal of opening next fall. I brought two great Rabbeim on board, Rav Ari Klapper and Rav Simcha Sussman, an executive director, Rabbi Yehoshua Looks, and we were ready to go. We invested a tremendous amount of time and resources in order to make the project successful. I thought "Yeshivat Nefesh Yochanan is going to FLY!".
I was wrong.... I learned that new yeshivos are not wanted. I was told again and again by high schools to come back after we establish ourselves. But in order to establish ourselves we needed students and our concept was great. But alas, it wasn't happening. It also required a tremendous amount of funding and I was collecting only a minute fraction of what was needed. אם אין קמח - If there is no flour there is no Torah. I had almost no flour. I understand the schools that didn't send. They wanted the security of an established product. I also understand the donors - times are rough and there are already so many institutions on the map that need funds that to help my fledgling institution was a burden people didn't think they could handle. Hence, the paucity of donations [maybe the fact that I use such un-yeshvish words as "paucity" made me unfit to be Rosh Yeshiva:)]. But it is still sad for me. There is so much that I [and my partners] wanted to give to the students who would have come. But Hashem Yisborach decided otherwise and CERTAINLY I can say גם זו לטובה.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to thank EVERYBODY who helped in any way. At the risk of forgetting some people I will name names. A thank you to Rav Ari, Rav Simcha and Rav Yehoshua for everything. To R' Aharon Yisrael Feit for helping in numerous ways including picking me up at the airport only hours before Sandy arrived. He is a quiet and unassuming person who is on my list of "top tzadikkim of the generation who are not well known". To R' Shmuel Binyamin Stein who has been a dedicated friend from the start and helped my kollel get off the ground in many ways. To R' Yisrael Tzadok Forgash who was my chavrusa in Hakotel over 20 years ago and didn't let the many years that passed diminish our friendship. A true Rodeph Tzedaka vi-chesed. To R' David Mottehedeh who graciously hosted me in his beautiful home and helped me in ways that I can't publicize. To R' Moshe Shimon Frohlich who after one Shabbos we spent together became a lifelong close friend. He together with Rebbe David keep taking me to "The Wolf and The Lamb" thereby ensuring that I don't become hungry.... or a vegetarian. To R' Daniel Kratka who met me by chance at the kosher supermarket and immediately dedicated himself to helping me in any way - despite the fact that we had been out of touch for about a decade and a half. He is someone special and I love him very much. To R' Zevi Blumenfrucht who has not only been helpful practically but also makes me feel like I am doing him a favor when he does for me. A special person who has tremendous Ahavas Torah. To R' Ephraim Gervis who is a true model of an individual whose entire thrust is to be a tzaddik and to get close to other tzadikkim. To HaRav Dovid Kram Shlita who was the one and only high school Rebbe who actively recruited on my behalf. He is always ready and able to do anything on my behalf despite his busy schedule. To R' Simcha Gissinger who is the head of the board of directors of the kollel and a person who is a הצנע לכת always modest but a tremendous baal chessed. To R' Shalom Yitzchak Chaim Dworkin who is a deep baal machshava, oved Hashem and close friend. R' Ariel Jacob - a person who is on my "my brother" list. A lamed vavnik as well. To Rav Gil Simchi - a Yemenite man of holiness and gentleness. To Rav Rami Strosberg, a good friend and dedicated mechanech. To Dr. Ashi Weisstuch - a man dedicated to helping his patients and Klal Yisrael. To HaRav Baruch Simon - a Rosh Yeshiva who LOVES Torah and will do anything for a talmid or friend. To R' Moshe Gavriel Bernstein who is a dedicated and beloved friend and ben aliya. To R' Shmuel Tzvi Rauch who has proven himself on innumerable occasions to be someone whom I can count on for anything. He is emotionally one of the most solid people I know and this solidity expresses itself in our ongoing friendship which is not impeded by his busy schedule and the physical distance between us. I feel privileged to know him. To R' Yaakov Dov Slomnicki who is a person that never stops working to grow in middos and learning and avodas Hashem. When I think of him, I know that he will always be there for me as he has in the past. To his father-in-law R' Barry Weiss who sponsored a pizza party for potential students and LOVES to give. If you would perform open heart surgery on him you wouldn't find mere flesh. You would find gold. To Rav Yehoshua Weinberg - a deep man of faith and sincerity. He is there for me even at those rare times that nobody else can be. To R' Baruch Bareli who has done so much for me. To my friend HaRav Dovid Cohen who allowed me to speak in his shul. To Rav Shaul Robinson who allowed me to speak [and daven] in his shul. To the people at the West Side Institutional who gave me the pulpit one memorable Shabbos. To R' Chaim Yehoshua Austein who would give me the world if he could. He is a true Ben Torah and a model for me. To R' Elchanan Salig, a beloved man of good deeds and kindness. "Elchanan" means "gift from God". He is. To R' Daniel Simcha Borenstein who gives a new, improved meaning to the concept of "sweet and sincere". To R' Rafi Goodman who is wise and mature well beyond his years and makes my stays in New York so special and enjoyable. To R' Daniel Zweigbaum who has been such a caring friend and inspires me with his yiras shomayim. To R' Eytan Feldman who always graciously opens up his home and heart for me. Once a chavrusa - always a chaver. R' Ariel Edelstein, a tremendous gaon and marbitz Torah who found time to help me despite his busy schedule trying to make a living and helping Klal Yisrael. R' Yirmiyahu Ginsburg who may or may not have a chavrusa with Eliyahu Hanavi. The Jaspan brothers R' Avraham Yitzchak and R' Yosef Ezra who are not only brothers to each other but of mine as well. Enough said. To R' Moshe Naftali Richman who gives even when I say "enough already". It always flows from a G-dly, magnanimous spirit. R' Shmuel Simcha Kollander whom I value as a close, caring friend forever. R' Yehuda Yaakov Spindler who is like a brother to me. At his recent wedding I got "annoyed" at him because he made me cry. I cried because I love him so much and he was leaving me for Rachel.... I think all would agree he did great - and so did Rachel. To R' Jonny [Moshe Yehuda] Hanus whom I love very much and I am not sure why..... It probably has something to do with his kind heart, sincerity, sense of humor, sweet disposition and Emunah in "KBH" [as he calls Him]. R' Shmulie Brown - an איש כלבבי who is dedicated to proliferating the same ideals as I am. HaRav Binyamin Staiman - I can't say enough about him - so I won't try. Such עדינות הנפש and a close friend for over 15 years. Rav Meir Goodman - an beloved friend who is bubbling with enthusiasm for everything good. To my childhood friend R' Shmuel Wexler who is a tzaddik and if there is a single women in her thirties reading this I can guarantee you that he will make you happy forever. He is my Queens address. To R' Chaim Schreck, an emes'e ben Torah and trusted friend. To R' Yaakov Schulder who is a bastion of emunah and someone who gives me the kavod of visiting every time I come to the States. To R' Daniel Eliyahu Ross who is a close friend and very sincere Jew. Both R' Yaakov and R' Daniel heroically made it through the hardest of times and came out victorious. They are a never ending source of inspiration. To Rav Dori Binyamin Levin, a trusted friend and confidante who is dedicating his life to Klal Yisrael. To R' Chaim Wolfish who is a very special ben torah and ben aliyah. And friend. To R' Eliezer Yehuda Pollack who is always striving upwards. His נעימות is unique. I hope to emulate him. To R' Ari Lichtman - a future gadol bi-yisrael. Rav Binyamin Leibowitz - how can I ever repay you for all your kindeness. You are about the most likable person on earth. To Rav Tzvi Moshe Kantor - remember the name, he will be big. R' Chemi Jacob - a man of sincerity and kindness to all. Rav Yaakov Cohen - a tremendous ben aliyah and inspiration. HaRav Yoel Rackovsky - a Rebbi and extremely close confidante. He really understands me and so many others. R' Nachi Freidman - a amn filled with a holy spirit, forever striving upwards. Hachosson R' Mordechai Daniels - always seeking the truth in a gentle, sincere and loving way. R' Yisrael Yaakov Berman - a ben aliya I am honored to know. He and his Rebbetzin will change the world. R' Yoni Pollack - thanks for everything. You are really special. To R' Shimshon Yitzchak Garber - a man who does everything he can to help. He also hasn't missed a minyan since his bar mitzva many many moons ago. The Goldstoff brothers R' Yoav and R' Shlomo Aryeh - always there with a smile and good word. To R' Jordan Barth, one of my best friends ever and forever. To a good friend who forbade me from ever mentioning his name. I love every person I mentioned and feel honored to know them. May Hashem bless you all with only good things. And of course to the many, many other people who have helped me in many ways. To all the talmidim at Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan who display abiding friendship. To Jay Leno for hosting me on the Tonight Show [I made that up:)]. To Yaakov Shwekey for allowing me to fill in for him when he couldn't make it to one of his concerts [ditto]. Thank you all. [I didn't really how indebted I am to so many people until I complied this partial list. Oh boy...]
OF COURSE to all of the wives of my aforementioned friends. Without a good wife - you don't have a good life. We all know that the facilitators of everything we are able to do are our wives. There are also many females who are deserving of my specific thanks. You know who you are and more importantly - Hashem does. May Hashem bless you to be like Sara, Rivka, Rochel and Leah and fulfill all the wishes of your heart li-tova. Particularly to D.G.R. who built the yeshiva website free of charge and is always on call to help - whether asked or not.
Last but not least - my parents for EVERYTHING. There are no words. My brothers R' Yosef Tzvi and R' Dovid Avraham who are the two people I know I can trust more than anybody in the world. To my Uncle Fred who is a model of someone who is dedicated to learning Torah and doing for Klal Yisrael in countless ways.
And to my wife and children who willingly suffer my long absences in order to allow me to spread the light.
To the Tolna Rebbe Shlita who has done more for me and my family members than anyone else on earth. What I personally know of his deeds make him not just the biggest tzaddik of this generation but one of the biggest tzaddikim ever to live. Maybe one day I will tell....:)
And acharon acharon chaviv - Hakadosh Baruch Hu. .אילו פינו מלא שירה כים ולשוננו רינה כהמון גליו ושפתותינו שבח כמרחבי רקיע - אין אנחנו מספיקין להודות לך
He is the BEST!!!
Future plans: I will not let this setback cause me despair G-d forbid. I still have plans for the future of which you will be informed in a future email. LI-HAGDIL TORAH ULI-HAADIRA!!!!!:)