Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My New Shoes And Existential Frustration

I walk a lot. I don't have a car and it is easier, quicker and healthier to use the two good legs Hashem gave me than it is to use public transportation. So my shoes kiss the ground quite often and over time it takes a toll. My mother noticed how mamesh "holy" my shoes are - kodesh kodashim. At least two big gaping holes. She told me that it's time for new shoes. Now, I really - but really - don't like going clothes shopping. I have zero patience for such things. The outcome is that if a woman in my life [i.e. my wife or mother] wants me to get an article of clothing they have to get it for me. But shoes have to be tried on so it was my job to fulfill the huge mitzva of kibbud aim and go to the store and try on the shoes, tell the salesman they are too tight, until I find a pair that fits [I never really know how I am going to like them until a few days afterwards anyway]. It took a few months and many excuses to my mother why I am procrastinating ["I can't buy them today because the mekubalim say that Monday is a bad day to buy shoes.... Tomorrow won't work either - the Knicks are playing the Pacers and I have to be ready just in case they call me up to play."] and I finally bought them. The shoe store had a deal that if you give in your old pair you get 100 shekel off a new pair. My yetzer hara liked that so I took both my yetzer hara and my yetzer hatov to the store and in minutes I had a shiny new pair of shoes.

I must admit - I was enjoying my new shoes [and telling my mother that I finally listened to her]. They were shiny and NEW. AHHHHHHH NEW.

Since then two months have passed and my shoes no longer have the same glitter. What a disappointment! Or as the young people say "Bummer". Why can't they stay new?

Why can't anything stay new?? When I got married BOOOOYYYYY was I excited. It sorta rubbed off. When my children were born - I was flyin'! No longer. Everything in life seems to get OLD. Even a delicious hot cup of tea. Give it a few minutes and it cools off. It's just not the same.

The one place that was an exception to this rule was the Beis Hamikdash. חם כביום הילקחו. The bread on the table miraculously remained warm and fresh for an entire week until it was eaten. The reason is that the Beis Hamikdash is the closest to the source of creation and the source never gets old. The source is SPIRITUAL and spirituality is above time. [Rav Hutner]

One day we will live in a world that is eternal and above time. Every "second" will be new and exciting and things will never get old. Our very existence will be a constant source of pleasure [man's greatest need is to exist - we just take it for granted, until it is almost taken away].

The job of each and every one of us is to try to preserve the newness and freshness in every area of our lives. Every month we start with Rosh Chodesh which should bring to renewal. Every DAY we say המחזיר נשמות לפגרים מתים - Last night I was DEAD and I have been given a new lease on life.

When we daven, when we learn, when we see the blue sky, when we kiss our parents or children, we should try to feel how special it is and not get sucked into the feeling of "been there - did that". Our relationships should constantly be renewed.

The Navi Hoshea proclaimed in the name of Hashem,  כי נער ישראל ואוהבהו - I love the Jewish People because they always maintain that youthful excitement for life.

And life - is Torah.

כי הם חיינו

Love and blessings:-)