Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Is She Fun?

When people date they attribute a great deal of importance as to whether they had "fun" on the date. Why do I believe this to be silly? Because we date in order to get married and most of marriage is not about "fun".

A man gets up earlllyy in the morning and goes to learn, then he davens, goes to the gym [Americans are almost all members of gyms - that's why I threw that in] and then off to a looong hard day at work. When he gets home he eats dinner, goes to maariv, spends a few minutes with the family and off to sleep. A woman similarly gets up early, helps the kids get ready for school, goes off to her job and then rushes home to be there in time to prepare dinner and take care of the little ones. Who on earth has time for "fun"? Maybe a week for pesach or an occasional sunday afternoon family outing but it's really mostly not about fun.

Ask most married people if when they want fun they go to their spouse. Let's face it - a guy generally has a different idea of fun than that a girl. A guy might like to watch ten hours of football while a girl might choose to bake a cake. That's not having fun together [unless he watches the game in the kitchen].

So of course it's great if one has fun with a potential mate but I ask that you put it very low on your list. It would be like a guy marrying a girl because she has beautiful hair. By golly - she's going to cover it, silly!!! Or a girl marrying a guy because he's the starting guard for the college basketball team. Unless he is a really poor student, pretty soon he will be out of college and off the team.

So marry because of qualities that really matter!

Thanks:-)