Sunday, January 22, 2012

To Answer Or Not To Answer

Sometimes I receive an email.

The person writes "Dear Rav Ehrman, thank you so much for getting back to me. You must be so busy. I really appreciate it." And then they continue with the point they want to get to.

I wonder to myself - Why would I NOT get back to you?? Does being busy give me the right to be rude. Somebody spoke to me - how can I just ignore him?? Am I busy? Of course! I haven't had a free second in twenty years. ANY ben-torah doesn't have a free second. He is either learning or davening, or doing chesed or working or spending time with his family. If he has five free minutes there is always more to learn. There are a few tshuvos of Rebbe Akiva Eiger I haven't gotten to yet - me and just about everybody else. But part of being busy is being a mentsch. I have NEVER EVER willingly gone on vacation since I "converted" to Judaism. Too much to do and not enough time. Doesn't even interest me. Vacation for me would be a quiet room with a hot water urn, a mattress, my computer and my disc with its 50 thousand sefarim. Most of the "busy" people who don't have five seconds to answer emails find two weeks for vacations.

If I didn't want to return emails - I'd cancel my account. If I didn't want to return phone calls, I can disconnect my phone. But IF I have a phone and email account human decency dictates that I answer. The thanks are superfluous [but of course appreciated...].

Why is it that if you approach and start talking to someone he will answer but sending an email or calling doesn't guarantee the same result. The answer is simple: It is NOT socially acceptable to ignore someone who talks to you but it IS socially acceptable to ignore emails and telephone calls. [I am not referring to those emails I get sometimes that tell me that somebody died in India and he left ME 20 million dollars which I may collect if I just contact a lawyer named Su Dung Farwanshi but those sent by reputable people whom I know or even strangers who want or need something from me]. But ignoring a person is ignoring whether he can see you or not.

I wonder when a former talmid of the yeshiva ignores me ["Hey Mikey" I write - "what's Darren's phone number. I remember you were roommates in Yeshiva."] how he would have felt if he had asked me a question in shiur and I had pretended he didn't exist. Probably as I feel when he does the same to me.

So you know me - I'm a Torah Yid. Where does it say in the Torah that one should return phone calls and answer emails [promptly]? Hey, they didn't even HAVE telephones or computers at the time of the giving of the Torah!

You've heard of it. I promise. The goyim call it the "Golden Rule". Even they heard of it.

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself". The law that encompasses [according to Rebbe Akiva the father of the Oral Law] the ENTIRE TORAH. You would want a person you are trying to reach to get back to you, so you give others the same courtesy.

HUGE?

AVADE!!!

Love and blessings sweeter than sweet friends:-)!