Monday, January 30, 2012

Split Personalities

Sweet friends!

I am relatively new to the world of computers. Only about six years ago I received my first computer from my parents. I insisted that I am not interested but they insisted I take it and my wife can use it. Well - as you can see, not only my wife uses it... When I got the computer I didn't even know how to turn it on. My point is that I didn't grow up with this.

What I find fascinating is the sides of people that come out on email. Some people are really nice in person but rude and angry in emails. Others will act like my best friend when they see me but when I email them they will totally ignore me. So I wonder - is this how to treat your best friend?? Some people are friendly in emails but in real life not so. It makes me feel that the email friendliness is somewhat artificial. When people sign off their emails "regards" or something to that effect -do they really mean it? And to whom should I send the regards?

My point of course is a gemara:-).

The gemara says that a talmid chochom should be תוכו כברו - the same on the inside as he is on the outside. So if I am wearing a black hat and gartel, have a beard and flying tzitzis, I am expected to act according to religious values. If I do not then I am misrepresenting myself and the Torah. If a girl is wearing a long skirt on a hot day she is also expected to act and talk with tzniyus.

So I extend the gemara to emails. As in real life so in emails. Not to hide behind the screen and think that just because people can't see you means that you can speak and act as you wish. If someone is blind and asks for help you can walk by and pretend you are not there - but we'd both agree that it's not so nice. I am looking for emesdike people.

Another point.

Some people are really quiet in real life but in email the floodgates open up [I like emailing those people because I wonder what they are thinking and on email I find out]. The medium of the computer is effective because some people just feel more comfortable opening up on email than in person to person confrontations. I know that there are some things I feel more comfortable saying over the computer, so I like it. Openness is the key to developing genuine relationships.

Any thoughts?

[I know you can't post them in the comments section which I disabled in part because I don't like how people hide behind the veil of anonymity and say silly or rude or vulgar or stupid or cynical etc. etc. things. But you can always email me.]