Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Triangles

Continuing the saga of Duvie and Ruchie .....

After a year and a half of marriage adorable little Zevy enters their life. Suddenly, Ruchie seems so much more interested in Zevy than she is in Duvie. First of all he is much cuter. Secondly he is much more needy. After all, Duvie can feed himself. Duvie now feels ignored. This of course creates a problem in the marriage. The marriage therapists call it a "Triangle" meaning any unhealthy threesome. Sometimes it is a mother in law, sometimes the husband's best friend, the possibilities are endless. But the result is the same - difficulties and new challenges.

What to do now?

Know that Triangles exist and make sure they are dealt with.

But how?

It reminds me of the time I was interviewed on Israeli TV as I was walking down the street and asked to explain what Tisha B'av is in 20 seconds [!!]. Quite superficial and inadequate, don't you think?


Li'havdil.

Virginia Satir talks about it in her book Peoplemaking.

And once I mention her I must quote her "We need 12 hugs a day for growth."

I couldn't agree more:).